Introducing Lao Da

Lest you think I'm already starting a bad habit of parental favoritism and was only going to introduce you to Lao Er (or Sami as I can openly call him now!), we're also pleased for you to meet Lao Da: Micah James.  Micah was able to spend the first ten months or so of his life with his birth mother, but circumstances unknown to me prevented her from being able to continue to care for him. I have a million questions about who she was, what she was like, how hard it was to give him up.  Questions that will probably never have answers but will most likely be permanent residents in my mind.  Nevertheless, he is such a happy little boy.  It's as if the rough patches of his life haven't left their indelible, dark mark to erase his smile or quench his curious spirit.

Like Sami, Micah's actual birthday is unknown, so we chose for him to share a February 21 birthday with his cousin Jonathan.  The second birthday festivities should be quite raucous when we're in Louisville next year with Chris & Sarah!

The reason we chose the name Micah James for our little guy does not have as elaborate a story as Samuel Jedidiah's.  Mainly, the Old Testament book Micah and the New Testament epistle James were the reasons we named him such.  Within the text is a rich treasury of truth & wisdom that we have already begun to pray into his little life:

That he would be filled with power by the Spirit of the Lord, with justice & might (Micah 3:8)

That he would desire for the Lord to teach him His ways so that he may walk in His paths (Micah 4:2)

That he would walk in the name of the Lord his God forever and ever (Micah 4:5)

That he would do justice, love kindness, and walk humbly with God (Micah 6:8)

That he would look to the Lord, wait on the Lord, and let the Lord be a light to him (Micah 7:7-8)

That he would love the God who pardons iniquity, passes over transgression, and delights in steadfast love (Micah 7:18)

That the trials of his life would produce steadfastness and faith (James 1:2-4)

That he would be a doer of the word, not merely a hearer (James 1:22)

That he would care for widows & orphans in their affliction (James 1:27)

That he would have a faith that is alive & active (James 2:14-26)

That he would humbly submit himself to God & draw near to Him (James 4:7-10)

We had so much fun with Micah in the care center at the beginning of the month.  He is old enough to begin manifesting his little personality.  He laughs, smiles, points, toddles around in his Spiderman shoes, and eats, eats, and eats (usually with double fists).  He has the kitchen staff at the care center wrapped around his wee, chubby finger: several times he wandered toward that area of the house and returned with a new chunk of bread to gnaw on.  We can tell already that he will not be easy to keep up with, but we both agree that we're looking forward to the challenge.

I love his soft curls.  I love his toothy grin.  I love his fat, kissable cheeks.  I love the sound of his gentle breath when he sleeps.  I love the unique fold in his left ear.  I love that the day when he gets to come home and never be taken care of by anyone else again will eventually come.  I love him for the little boy that he is and for the man that he will grow up to be.  Our Micah James.

Project 353: Week 15

I'm not really sure if it's fair or not to call this Week 15 of my project, considering I've taken the past two weeks off and this week isn't even complete.  Must have something to do with the fact that I've been half way around the world and am still trying to get back in the swing of life...

April 18

My first "official" photo shoot.  We got at least one good one, right Amy? 

April 22

 Easter festivities with the kiddos 

April 23

Party at our house with some of our student friends

Introducing Lao Er

This is the first son I'd like to introduce to you!  He is the younger of our two boys, but I definitely cannot call him the smallest.  The birthday we chose for Sam is November 4, 2010.  There's really no special significance except for the random fact that it is my half-birthday.  This is just an estimate since there is no official record of his birth, but it is assumed that he is around five months old.  When we first "met" Sam in December, this is what he looked like:

It's hard to believe he's the same little boy.  But beneath his jolly rolls & butterball cheeks, I can still see those eyes that I fell in love with all those months ago.

Our Sam was found abandoned at a hospital when he was only 4 weeks old.  We don't know anything of his history beyond that.  The name that was given to him in the orphanage was Sami, which according to a few websites I checked (I know, thorough and entirely reliable research on my part!), means "God has heard" or "high and exalted."  We really liked the first meaning because the fact that this little one was discovered and his life saved is evidence of the fact that God heard our prayers for him even before we knew him.   

Despite the fact that we had all along been planning on naming one of our sons Ethan, we began to consider the name Samuel.  With those meanings in mind, I liked the idea of maintaining a similar name to Sami's Ethiopian name.  Plus, we liked the connection to the prophet Samuel in the Bible, whose mother Hannah's desperation to bear a child did not go unrecognized by God.  While it's obvious that I didn't bear our Sam, God has still been merciful to my desire to become a mother by bringing him into our family.

The lynchpin, however, to choosing Samuel as our son's name actually came a few days after we had received his first pictures.  When our agency gives an adoption referral, they include a few pictures, some scanty medical reports, and a social report that explains some of the child's developmental progress.  Sami's social report stated that he was not responding to external sounds around him.  Our doctor was afraid that he might have some serious hearing issues.  While we recognized that deafness is certainly a manageable disability, we weren't sure if it was something that we would be able to gain proper medical attention for while living in China.  We had to face the reality that we might not be able to accept this darling little boy's referral.  That was a very, very tough realization which caused no small amount of sorrow for my heart.

The next day was a Friday, which is the day our group of ex-pat friends gather together for worship.  The following is one of the hymns we chose to sing together that evening:

"Whatever My God Ordains Is Right"

Whate’er my God ordains is right:
His holy will abideth;
I will be still whate’er He doth;
And follow where He guideth;
He is my God; though dark my road,
He holds me that I shall not fall:
Wherefore to Him I leave it all.

Whate’er my God ordains is right:
He never will deceive me;
He leads me by the proper path:
I know He will not leave me.
I take, content, what He hath sent;
His hand can turn my griefs away,
And patiently I wait His day.

Whate’er my God ordains is right:
His loving thought attends me;
No poison can be in the cup
That my Physician sends me.
My God is true; each morn anew
I’ll trust His grace unending,
My life to Him commending.

Whate’er my God ordains is right:
He is my Friend and Father;
He suffers naught to do me harm,
Though many storms may gather,
Now I may know both joy and woe,
Some day I shall see clearly
That He hath loved me dearly.

Whate’er my God ordains is right:
Though now this cup, in drinking,
May bitter seem to my faint heart,
I take it, all unshrinking.
My God is true; each morn anew
Sweet comfort yet shall fill my heart,
And pain and sorrow shall depart.

Whate’er my God ordains is right:
Here shall my stand be taken;
Though sorrow, need, or death be mine,
Yet I am not forsaken.
My Father’s care is round me there;
He holds me that I shall not fall:
And so to Him I leave it all.

Samuel Rodigast, 1676

Though the words were from long ago, they were such a solace to my downcast heart.  Whether Sami was to join our family or not, God's plan was right and to Him we would leave it all.  And who was the author whose pen spoke through the centuries to comfort me?  None other than a man named Samuel.  Surely, if this little boy was to be ours, he too would bear that name.

A few days later, we found out that the social report had been filled out incorrectly, and there was in fact nothing wrong with our little one's hearing.  We joyfully accepted his referral and have been exceedingly grateful ever since to call this one our own.

The middle name Jedidiah was a name Kevin selected from the Old Testament.  It means "loved by God."  We wanted our son's name to affirm to him that though his life had a somewhat hapless beginning, God's loving hand was not far from him, nor will it ever be.  We also have some dear friends who lost a son named Jedidiah, and we wanted to honor his memory with our son's name.

So I'm thrilled to share with you my favorite pictures of Lao Er, our Samuel Jedidiah:

Where do we go from here?

Well, we're back home finally.  We spent another restful day in Beijing with our friends Justin & Lauren, which involved me sleeping for nearly 11 hours straight, lunch at my favorite restaurant, and the best Mexican food I've had in two years (slim pickings for Mexican food in China!).  We took the train home on Friday and returned to our puppy, our friends, and our life here.  

So what's next?  How do I meet my sons, be granted guardianship, leave them in Africa, and then expect to resume normal life?  And why in the world, as my friend Vanessa so blatantly inquired, are they still in Africa anyway?

Here's the deal: we are their parents in the eyes of the Ethiopian government.  But now the US embassy wants to look over our case before granting the boys permission to immigrate.  This process will take at least 8 weeks, possibly longer.  We have to wait for the Ethiopian court to issue a formal decree of our guardianship.  Then new birth certificates and passports have to be issued and authenticated.  Once all of that paperwork is gathered, it will be submitted to the US embassy in Ethiopia for their review.  Recently, the embassy had been extremely thorough in looking over these cases to make sure that no corruption is leaking into the adoption system.  I'm thankful for their commitment to prevent child trafficking and the like, but when it's my sons I just want to say, "Can't you just make an exception and send them home now?"  But I doubt that would really help.

So let the waiting game begin...again.  

Ethiopia Day 4--the BIG day

It was another early morning today, but this time it wasn’t because of the ambient noise coming through our open window.  It was nerves today that had my mind alert and reeling before 6 AM.  We were set to leave for the courthouse at 9 AM, which meant I had three hours to fill.  After getting dressed and packing, I was disappointed to find out that I had only successfully whittled away 45 minutes of what was turning out to be the longest wait ever.  My jittery stomach forced Kevin to dine solo this morning, which is incredibly demonstrative of just how out of sorts I was.  How often do I skip breakfast?  Pretty much never!

Alone in the hotel room, I forced myself to sit down and be still before the Lord for a while.  The chapter of John that I read was truly balm to my antsy soul.  I took my eyes off our own situation at hand and prayed for the other adoptive families here with us, our friends in the states who are preparing to join us in China in a matter of days, and for my Chinese friends who seem a world away at the moment (possibly because they are!). 

Finally, it was time to leave.  Our driver met us at the guest house and within minutes we had arrived at the court.  It was a modest building with a group of foreigners gathered outside.  All the foreign adoptive parents were ushered into a large yet very stuffy room on an upper floor.  Our agency representative, Haile, accompanied us as we began the long wait until it was our turn to appear before the judge.  First, several Ethiopian families were called into judge’s office.  The crowd thinned as the judge made her way through the docket.  Every ten minutes or so, my heart jumped as a small girl who I assumed was the judge’s assistant peeked her head out from the office to announce something in Amharic.  Since I obviously couldn’t discern what she was saying, my eyes immediately shot to Haile to follow his reaction to what she said.  Finally, Haile rose to his feet when she appeared and we followed them both into the judge’s office.

There was no pomp or circumstance surrounding this hearing.  It was no American TV court with an intimidating judge shrouded in a black robe, perched behind a towering pedestal of authority.  Instead, a petite woman wearing a black head scarf sat behind a simple desk, embodying the smoldering elegance characteristic of Ethiopian woman.  She wasted no time with formalities but asked us several straight-forward questions: Have we made efforts to become familiar with the culture and history of Ethiopia? Do we have children of our own?  Have we seen the two boys we are wishing to adopt?  Do we accept them as our own children? Do we understand that once this decree has been made, it can under no circumstance be reversed?  Then with a nonchalance that failed to capture the weight of the moment, she uttered the words that have now changed the trajectory of our lives & identities: they are yours.

Within twenty seconds, it was over and we left her office as legal guardians of these two precious boys. It all happened so fast that we had to double-check with Haile to make sure we properly understood what had just transpired.  Indeed, he confirmed, it was all true.  Yes, we passed court.  Yes, our MoWA letter had arrived in time.  Yes, we are their parents.  Which means I am at liberty to introduce to you our new family:

 (here is the hot pink onesie I know everyone was dying to see!)

We left the courthouse in somewhat of a daze and headed to the American embassy.  We had to have an important US State Department form called the I-600 notarized, and since notaries are near impossible to come by in China, the Addis embassy was the only place we could have it done.  Unfortunately, after a half-hour drive winding through dusty roads and crowded pedestrian & donkey traffic, we arrived at the embassy only to find out that they can only provide notary service between 1 and 3 o’clock.  Despite the minor annoyance, there wasn’t much that could ruin the joyful mood of the day.  We headed back to the hotel and agreed to meet the driver again at 1 PM to return to the embassy one more time.

To make a wonderful day even better, we flipped on the TV in our room and found that “Tommy Boy” was playing on the English movie channel.  We laughed over Chris Farley’s antics and quoted all the lines we remembered as we showered, packed up, and prepared to check out of our hotel.  Thankfully, the manager had extended our check-out time to 4 PM so we would be able to freshen up before our long flight that night.

Just as we finished lunch in the hotel’s small restaurant, the driver arrived and we headed to the airport to attempt to get our donation of Crocs out of customs purgatory.  It was unfortunately an hour wasted as the computer systems were down, and none of the necessary information could be retrieved.   But this second set back still couldn’t put a dampener on the day.

After we left the airport, our driver escorted us and another American couple living in Hong Kong to the embassy once more.  It turned out to be a rather involved & somewhat frustrating process.  When our number was finally called, summoning us to the window, we were told that the notary service was $50 per document.  We knew that the embassy charged for notarization but we were unaware the price was that high.  However, with as smitten as we are with these boys, even an unexpected $200 fee is worthwhile just as long as it will get them home to us.  The situation took a much appreciated turn, though, when we were informed by another embassy agent that we did not have to pay the fee at all.  Two of the documents did not require a notarization and the second two were notarized without cost.  We were sent back to the cashier to receive a full refund, and the two smiling Benjamins were happily replaced in our wallet. 

Not knowing how the course of the day would flow, I wasn’t sure if we would be able to see the boys again before we left.  I was so thankful that our driver was more than willing to take us by the care center for another hour with our sons.  Even though I knew their reactions would be rather anticlimactic, I still wanted to share the news with them that the judge had made us their parents.  Sure enough, Lao Da’s response was to point at that ever-elusive toy on top of the wardrobe and Lao Er seemed more interested in the Baby’s First Christmas onesie he was wearing than my thrilling news. As we were preparing to leave, I whispered to both of them the scripture that had encouraged me the day before: And if I go and prepare a place for you, I will come again and will take you to myself, that where I am you may be also (John 14:3). We had a sweet last visit with them, which sadly ended with Lao Da crying when I finally returned him to the baby room.  We could still hear his wails as we shut the gate behind us and climbed into the van. 

Our flight didn’t leave until after midnight, so we took the opportunity for a date night and went to see an English movie at the theater down the street from our hotel.  Thought I wouldn’t necessarily call “The Adjustment Bureau” a cinematic masterpiece, it served its purpose of killing time before we were set to leave for the airport.  Once we got there, we finally managed to rescue the kiddo’s shoes from customs.  Then we boarded the plane once more to head back home.  We were most definitely the only white people on the entire flight.

It feels a little empty not to have our boys with us, though I will say I’m not really looking forward to a fifteen-hour flight with them. I’m thankful that we had the opportunity to meet them and know them in ways that mere photographs couldn’t previously communicate.  I’m thankful that we found fat & happy little boys instead of languishing orphans.  I’m thankful for the care I’m confident our sons will receive until I get to take the helm as their mother & caretaker. I’m thankful for the dozens of pictures I have to scrutinize over during the next two months until I get to hold them again.   I’m thankful that the ultimate goal of this trip was successful and that we are now one step closer to having these boys in our home. 

Thankful.  Just thankful.

Ethiopia Day 2 & 3

The internet is slow today so I only had a chance to upload three pictures.  I'll have to catch up on pictures once I get home!


Day 2

It’s hard to say whether or not we’re on vacation here.  The barking dogs, morning call to prayer from the local mosque, and minor jet lag have all precluded me from sleeping past 4 AM.  But one can certainly accomplish a lot if the day starts before the sun comes up!  We ate breakfast this morning on the porch of our guest house, watching the Ethiopians donning white head scarves head to the Orthodox church for Sunday worship.  The color contrast of the white scarves against their dark skin was like the canvas of a painting.  After eating, we walked to a different guest house where the other families from our agency are staying.  There are two other couples from here with us making their court appearance.  Both of them have Texas connections, and in fact one of them has some close connections with our good college friends, Beth & Lee Wilson.  A very small world indeed!  There is another couple here as well who is bringing home their two year-old son at the end of the week.

We were supposed to be heading to the care center together at 9:30 AM, which not surprisingly ended up being closer to 10 or 10:30.  I’m glad I’m not in the habit of wearing a watch or really being punctual at all because I think it would have just caused excess stress on this trip.

The other families had not yet met their sons, so it was fun to watch these older children’s reactions to meeting their new parents.  Kevin & I headed to the baby room to see Lao Da & Lao Er again.  Unfortunately, Lao Er was sporting a hot pink, crushed velvet onsie, but that didn’t stop us from oozing over his pudgy cuteness all over again.

Lao Da had a lot more energy, most likely because we were there in the morning as opposed to the late afternoon like the first day.  Again to no avail, we resumed the pointing-to-the-top-of-the-wardrobe game.  I still have no clue what magical toy is up there that he wants. 

There was a party going on in the courtyard in front of the house as the other families were showering their boys with the various toys and gifts they had brought from home.  We carried Lao Da & Lao Er outside to enjoy the sunshine, blue skies, and rowdy kiddos.  I told the boys several times to get their fill of the sun because they weren’t going to be seeing a lot of it once they come home with us.

Around noon, all the kids gathered upstairs for their lunch of injera (their staple carbohydrate) and a lentil-looking sauce.  The adults were served popcorn and coffee.  Lao Er was in the baby room sleeping, but Lao Da got his fair share of lunch.  He seems to like to drink more than eat though.  He can down cup after cup of water and doesn’t even need to use a sippy cup.  So much for all those cups I had sent from the states!  After he was done eating his four bites of lunch, Lao Da danced round a bit to the DVD of traditional Ethiopian music that was playing on the TV.  That boy’s got rhythm! 

We played with the boys another hour or so and didn’t end up getting back to our guest house until past 2 in the afternoon.  We rested during the afternoon and then headed out for dinner with the other couples after the sun had set.  Obviously, the highlight of the day was kissing & squeezing those boys but I’ll be honest and admit that when I stepped outside that night, I jumped up and down like a little girl and cried, “Stars! Stars! I see stars!”  It’s been over two years since I’ve seen a starry sky.  I counted constellations while we ate pizzas and listened to live music at a local bar.

Day 3

Day 3 was another early morning but at least I made it to 5 AM instead of 4 AM.  We had breakfast again on the porch of the guest house but instead of watching the church-goers, we watched the kids in their green uniforms flock to schools.   After breakfast, we spent another leisurely hour at Kaldi’s Coffee because Kevin was served hot chocolate instead of a cappuccino during our guest house breakfast.

This was our third day with the boys at the care center.  Lao Da seems to be warmer & warmer toward us.  He was a bit grumpy this morning when we showed up, but I quickly found out the reason why when he fell asleep in my arms.  I laid down and just listened to his baby breathing for about a half an hour.  It was a dreamy experience, despite the large puddle of drool that he left on my chest.

I was thankful for Lao Da’s unexpected nap because it gave us some undivided time with Lao Er.  We took him outside in the sunshine and changed him into one of the outfits we brought from home.  I’m sad to say that the 6 month onsies we have for him are not going to contain his big ol’ belly when we pick him up this summer.  

Lunch today was spaghetti.  By that time, Lao Da had woken up and joined four of his little bib-wearing friends on the Spiderman rug in the baby room to eat.  All he wanted to do was throw back more water.  Looks like we’ll have some interesting meal times in our near future!  He did let me feed him one bit of injera but then promptly spit it back out in my hand.  Thank you, son.

Tomorrow is a big day, as we will go to court and find out if our MoWA letter has arrived or not.  Following court, we will also visit the American embassy to have some documents notarized.  We’re not sure if we will have time to make a trip to the care center again, so it was difficult to leave the boys today.  Lao Da cried again, but I was able to put a stop to that when I gave him the cheerleader doll that he likes.  Lao Er still doesn’t really know what’s going on, but I made Lao Da promise to take care of him while we’re gone.

We fly out Wednesday morning at 12:30 AM.  Depending on whether or not the internet will cooperate, I’ll try to post an update of how the court hearing went.  Thank you to everyone who is following us and praying for us!

Ethiopia Day 1

Disclaimers: This post is incredibly long!  Feel free to skim if you'd like.  For blogging purposes, I’m going to call the boys Lao Da (what the Chinese call the oldest child) and Lao Er (what the Chinese call the second child).  Once they’re legally ours, I’ll go ahead and share their names.  I still can't post their full faces yet, but I tried to do the best I can with the pictures I can share.

We’re here!  We’re actually here!  We survived our “vacation” in Beijing, which ended up being more like a series of marathon shopping trips, dentist appointments, and last minute packing.  I will say that the best part of our two days in Beijing was our time with our friends Justin & Lauren. 

We boarded our plane to Ethiopia on Friday night at 9:30.  Our original seats were in the very back of the plane.  It would have been fine, but we were more than thankful when the flight attendant told us that there were two open seats in the emergency row.  For 7 lovely hours, Kevin actually got to stretch his legs.  But when more passengers boarded during our one-hour layover in Delhi, India, we had to move back to our row 40 seats.  In total, the flight was about 15 hours and we landed in Addis at 6:30 AM.  The visa issuing process was surprisingly easy—much more organized than Nepal’s visa system and much cheaper than China’s.  We went through baggage claim and easily pulled two of our bags off the conveyor belt.  Around and around it went a few more times with no sign of our third bag.  My heart sunk.  That was the bag that had some toys & clothes for the boys.  But my eagle eye of a husband spotted a black suitcase that had fallen off the belt.  Thankfully, it was ours!  My pulse still racing from the averted crisis, we moved onto customs for another adventure.

It is customary for adoptive families to bring a donation for the care center where our kids are staying.  Since crocs are incredibly durable and so cheap to purchase in China, I figured this would be a great way for us to contribute.  I even called my little mission Crocs for Kids because everything sounds better when alliterated.  We made a shoe seller’s day when we went to Silk Market in Beijing and purchased 44 pairs with the $100 that my mom donated.  Good intentions always seem to find a way of going awry, however, as our goods were confiscated at customs since we had no way to prove they we had no intent to sell them.  The customs officers were really nice and explained to us that all we have to do is have our agency provide some extra information to resolve the situation.  Hopefully we’ll have that taken care of in the next few days!

The guest house where we are staying is only about 10 minutes from the airport, so the driver that came to pick us up had us “home” really quickly. We are staying at the Addis Guest House, and it has surpassed my expectations in every way.  The manager grew up in America, and he came to our room to personally welcome us and answer any questions we had about the city or our stay here.  Our room is simple but more than adequate.  We have our own bathroom with a hot water heater, a mini-fridge, free wi-fi internet, and a mattress that is much more comfortable than any I’ve slept on in a Chinese hotel.  We even have an English movie channel!

After settling in, showering, and resting a bit, we set out to meander around town.  We stopped at the Ethiopian “Starbucks” called Kaldi’s for a cappuccino that cost about $.15.  This place is a coffee lover’s heaven!  We sat at a little outdoor table at Kaldi’s and watched the world go by.  What has struck me most so far has been the sweeping blue sky overhead.  There are so few towering buildings, so the stretch of blue expanse and fluffy white clouds truly take center stage.  There is no pollution to impede the sun, so my eyes have had to adjust to how bright everything is here.  Also, it is impossible not to notice how beautiful Ethiopian people are.  The women are slender & graceful, and the men are have a commandingly handsome presence.  I’m always wondering if my sons will resemble any of the men I’m seeing on the street here—so much so that I have to be careful not to stare!

We finally went to the care center at around 3:30 to meet our boys.  Surprisingly, our emotions were pretty even keeled as we made the half-hour drive out there.  The care center is a simple residential house tucked in a small neighborhood.  There is a gated front yard where the kids can play hopscotch and other outside games.  The baby room is downstairs and is well stocked with toys, pack & play cribs, and several loving nurses who look after them all.  The upstairs is where most of the older children live. 

When we first entered the baby room, it was not difficult to pick out Lao Da from the other 20 or so babies & toddlers that were in there.  His soft curls, delicate features, and the fact that he can stand & walk made him stand out from the others.   He seemed a little shy at first but didn’t cry.  He didn’t come to me when I opened my arms to him but also didn’t protest when I picked him up.  I counted all his toes, stroked his curls, kissed his fat cheeks, and told him all the things I’ve been longing to say over the past four months.  He seems to be a really mellow guy and likes toys that make noise.  Unfortunately, all the noise-making toys available to him at the moment are dolls or cheerleader toys!  Lao Da is walking, pointing, and trying to communicate with simple sounds.  We spent a good fifteen minutes trying to figure out what he was pointing at on top of a large wardrobe.

Lao Er, on the other hand, was a little bit trickier to find.  He has changed some much since we first "met" him in December.  In his first pictures, his six-pound frame was redolent of a wet cat.  Now he is a huge chunk of a child, and it seems his onesie can barely contain his generous belly.  He is still only five months old, so he doesn’t really do much but lie there and be fat and cute.  We gave him some “tummy time” and were pleased to see that he is able to raise his head by himself.

We were not expecting a dramatic family reunion and were prepared for almost any reaction the boys would have to us.  We hoped for any kind of connection at all, and God was faithful to provide that. After about an hour and a half of being with the boys, Lao Er was getting sleepy so we decided it was time to leave.  I never thought I would be thankful to see a kid cry (especially my own son!) but as I put Lao Da down and said goodbye, he reached for me and started to cry.  Melt my heart!  We finally managed to leave without any further tears and headed back to our guest house.  We had dinner at the downstairs restaurant and were in bed by 9 PM.   Long and full but sweeter than we could have asked for.

And off we go!

At this very moment, we are boarding a plane to Ethiopia (the wonders of post-dating!).  It's quite surreal to think that the anticipation of the past year is culminating right now.  Soon we will be with them.  Soon we will meet them. I've had a mixture of questions & emotions stirring around inside.  What will the boys be like?  Will they even like me at all?  Will the judge approve us as their parents?  Will the MoWA letter that we desperately need be in the judge's hands?

As I've juggled all of this in my mind, I have to admit that it seems that my nervousness is outweighing my excitement.  I think the reason is that meeting these little ones will bring this whole adoption thing to a new level.  They won't just be pictures anymore but real people.  Tiny, breathing, walking (maybe), crying (most likely), interacting people.  We'll connect in a new, deeper way, and that frightens me a bit.  There is still a chance that our adoption will not be finalized and fail.  A small chance but a chance nonetheless.  To connect and then to lose them would truly be devastating, but I still want to extend myself in love and care for these little ones while we're with them this week.

The Lord was kind to remind me of John 14:1 this morning:  "Do not let your heart be troubled; believe in me."  So we leave for Africa today with thankful hearts, trusting in what our good Father has ahead for us, whatever it may be.

As I've been spending some extra time these days pouring over each picture we've received the past few months, I realized I had written down some thoughts about our little guy that I hadn't shared yet.

My Son's Scars

I’ve studied every last feature, time and time again:

your inquisitive eyes,

the folds of your skin,

your gummy smile,

the angles of your chin.

All perfect, delicate, dear

to this mother who is not near.

But what I just can’t escape

are the scratches on your tiny face.

Difficult to notice but nevertheless there,

Faint in mark, strong in reminder

Beneath the curls of your goose-down hair

Etched on your face, etched on my heart

The silent voice of a betrayer

Who heralds the news of a past so grim

An unspoken memoir on your baby skin

Who asks questions that come with no easy reply

Swirling queries in my mind I cannot deny

How did your scars come to be?

Were you hurt? Did you cry?

The woman who carried you…who is she?

Does she still think of her little boy?

What will I tell you when you come to ask me?

What I do know, my son, is that I will replace

These relics of sadness with kisses on your face

What was once chafed, raw, and rasped

Will bloom into a new childhood grasped

There will be all the right marks for a little boy:

Dirt from the sandbox, mosquito bites

Your only tears are over a coveted toy

Doggy drool from Beans’ pink tongue

Wrinkles & dimples when you squeal with joy

Traces of chocolate or an ice cream treat

When the sun melts it faster than you can eat

Scabs and scuffs from when you fall down

Or paint on your face to make you a clown

Growing, growing, your face is changing

What was once fuzz is now a beard

That dreaded first zit from the hormones blazing

Lipstick marks from your bride’s first kiss

How fast it all goes…no short of amazing

Your face tells your story, from baby, boy, to man

All of it a reflection of His perfect plan

Remember, my son, that all the marks life leaves

Are a reminder that to Him we ought cleave.

A Pseudo-Bridesmaid in a Chinese Wedding

Lynn was one of the first friends I made when we moved to China two years ago.  She worked as an assistant teacher at our English school, so we saw each other every Saturday.  Her wedding ceremony was on April 2.  I say ceremony because it's typical for Chinese couples to be legally married months before the ceremony takes place.  This was our third Chinese wedding to attend, but this one was special for me because Lynn asked me & our mutual Chinese friend Lisa to come to her parent's house for all the pre-wedding festivities.  The rule for choosing bridesmaids here is that they can't be married.  So since Lisa & I are married, we got to be there as her "unofficial" bridesmaids.

The morning started for me at 7:45 AM when I walked through puddles and misty rain to the bus.  Lisa & I met at the bus stop by Lynn's parent's house and walked the rest of the way together.  By the time we got there at 8:30 AM, the house was already full of her relatives.  Most of them were sitting on the couches, chomping watermelon seeds and drinking tea or beer.  

Lynn was in the back bedroom getting her hair & make-up done.  The process involved a lot of sparkles & rhinestones.  

There was even a crimping iron.  It's been a while since I've seen one of those!

The finished product!  Lynn is such a skinny little thing that she had to be sewed into her dress so it wouldn't fall off.  The clasp on her arm-bracelet had to be bent so it wouldn't fall off either.  I have a feeling it did though since I didn't see it on her for the rest of the day. 

Lisa & I decided it is impossible to look pretty or thin when next to Lynn on her wedding day.  But we took a picture together nonetheless.

Then the fun began!  The groom was supposedly on his way to retrieve his bride from her parent's house, but before he could do so, he had to pass a series of tests.  In preparation for these tests, the bridesmaids (the real ones & the pseudo ones) hid Lynn's shoes around the bedroom for him to find.  

When he finally showed up, the bridesmaids lock the door and won't let him in to see his bride.  He had to pass red envelopes with money in them under the door to get them to open it.  I was later told that these bridesmaids were too easy to get passed.  Lisa told me it took her husband over an hour to get through her bridesmaids when she got married.

Finally he made it passed them in all his groom-ly glory.

After he found Lynn's shoes, they moved to the living room to take pictures with family and eat dumplings.  While the bride and groom eat the dumplings, everyone asks them "生了吗？" which pretty much translates to inquiring if the dumplings are raw. The character for raw 生 is the same character used to talk about giving birth.  I'm not sure if the dumplings were actually raw or not.  Surely not.  Either way, hopefully they'll have a baby soon enough!  At least, that's how their parents feel. 

Then they set off downstairs to the line of a dozen red cars that were to escort us to the restaurant where the wedding was held.  I thought it was nice that someone had taken the time to lay out a pretty heart on the pavement.  

 But then the lovely heart blew up.  Why was I surprised? You can't have a wedding without fireworks. 

Lisa & I rode in style all the way to the wedding.  I'm so used to riding my bike, the bus, and an occasional taxi that riding in a "real" car is a little strange for me.

Chinese weddings are usually held at restaurants.  The ceremony is not usually the solemn affair that we're used to in America.  

The wedding officiant is more like an MC than anything else, cracking jokes & entertaining the crowd.  This guy looked like he'd be pretty good at his job. 

In fact, the word that would describe Chinese weddings best is 热闹, which translates best to "hot & noisy."  Before, during, and after the ceremony, there is eating, drinking, smoking, laughing, and talking.  From an American perspective, it seems a little rude to have so much raucous going on while you're trying to get married but that's the way they do things here.  No one appreciated the 热闹 more than little Christin.

The bride & groom finally arrived, and the wedding began.  

One interesting aspect of Chinese weddings is that the parents are very involved in the ceremony.  It is representative of the fact that the relationship between a young married couple and their in-laws is extremely close.  During the ceremony, the couple bows to both sets of in-laws, promises to take care of them when they are old, and calls them "mama" and "baba" for the first time.   

After the ceremony, we were escorted to a private room in the restaurant for a meal with our good friends John & Rachel & their daughters.  There was so much food that there was no way we could have eaten it all.  Lynn changed her dress and started making the rounds to visit all the guests.  The parents of the couple visited as well.  We made it home by around 3 in the afternoon, Kevin with a full belly and me ready to eat.  Though my stomach was empty, the day was certainly full of culture and fun.