Saturday, January 23, 2010

Our dog has become a woman

There comes a time in every young female's life when she starts to wonder about the changes going on in her body. Usually, at about this same time, school curriculums swoop in to explain. In fact, I still remember the video we watched in fifth grade. A girl was having a campout with her friends in the backyard when she started her period. Not knowing what to do, she went inside her friend's house where she explained to the friend's mom what happened. Her mom was in the middle of making pancakes and took the opportunity to illustrate the entire femal anatomy with pancake batter. I suppose you could say this video left a lasting impression on my, as I've not been able to ever eat a pancake again without wondering whether my breakfast looks more like an ovary or the uterus.

Unfortunately, they do not offer such great educational materials for puppies or puppy owners. If they did, perhaps someone would have spelled out to me in pancake batter to get your dog spayed/neutered IMMEDIATELY. I thought we still had some time but alas...Beans is officially in heat.

Whatever shall we do? The internet had some helpful suggestions and some not-so-helpful suggestions (like playing soothing music to your dog to calm their nerves...what?!?!) One of the helpful tips was to outfit our little dog with "puppy panties" so she doesn't leave little messes all over the house. Since there are no Pets-Marts around here, we had to improvise:



Beans is obviously practicing her new womanly, seductive charm in this picture. She looks like a puppy pin-up model!

We asked our mama friends if they would be willing to donate their little daughter's retired underwear on Beans' behalf. Snip a hole in the back and we have one diva puppy:



Now Beans sports Dora the Explorer panties when she's inside. This morning, she was shivering so I put on the sweater my parents sent her for Christmas. Now she's dressed and ready to attract every male dog in the neighborhood.



The funny thing about our little dog is that people are actually afraid of her. Not just a little uncomfortable but adults go out of their way not to cross paths with her, children cry and hide behind their mothers. Maybe it's just because pets are a relatively new concept for families here so they're not used to dogs. But I still have to wonder what in the world is scary about a weenie dog in a pink argyle sweater and Dora the Explorer panties? Nothing, I say. Absolutely nothing!

12 comments:

Rachel said...

Becky,
I laughed out loud so hard when I read this and saw the pictures, the girls immediately came over to see what was going on! We all chuckled over Beans and her Dora panties. Funny times!

Amber said...

Are you kidding? What ISN'T terrifying about a weenie dog in a pink argyle sweater and Dora the Explorer panties?

I have to sleep tonight, Becky. Have some consideration. Sheesh.

Justin said...

So I searched for Kevin Beck Peek on google, (having been missing, thinking, praying about you guys for a long time) and this was the first hit I got. "Hey!" I found their long lost blog! My friends are back from the dead! Woohoo! Imagine my surprise when I saw my wife's name in the comment above mine. Hmm.

It's a communication thing, marriage is.

Kristie said...

So. Stinking. Funny. :)

Angela said...

Oh goodness! Isn't it awful?! Poor kyleigh would just mope when we put her panties on, we finally ended up cutting a tail hole in lizzie's diapers and strapping them on her instead for a disposable option!

Paul & Nat said...

BECKY!!!

Your blog is a highlight in my life - love to hear what you guys are up to. We have also added a puppy to our family since moving here. We had her spayed recently but she is jealous of the Dora panties. Also, this country is also deathly afraid of dogs. I've never seen so many grown adults screen and jump at the sight of a 20 lb, wiry haired puppy on a leash - Geez! We think of you guys often.

Love,
Paul & Nat

Wilson said...

this is absolutely mortifying.

thank you for adding to my list of "why I don't want a dog ... ever"

this reason will be listed below the story about my brother's dog's $1500 nose tumor surgery.

gah!

Rachel said...

so hilarious. loving beans' seductive pose....hahahahaha!

Brad and Carrie said...

Beans-

You don't let other dogs and strangers bully you around. Their just jealous of your style. Keep at it Beans!

Leah said...

hilarious, becky! and i love that your dog's name is beans.

Jamie Butts said...

Beck! Dustin and I laughed so SO SO hard for so so SO long at this. You should write a book, by the way. You are an amazing (and HIlarious writer!)
Miss and love you, Kev AND Beans.

Erin said...

Ok, so, I just felt the need to tell you that the video you watched in 5th grade is the one we watched too. It scarred me for life. I mean, pancakes? Really? There isn't a better way to explain that? *shiver*